12.25.2005

MISC: Escalating escalator frustrations

via Craigslist --

  • as fascinating as it is to watch the escalator go up or down, do not stand and gaze at it before you begin your journey. you can always take a picture.
  • once you've decided to hop aboard, you are probably inclined to stand on the escalator to make the ride last as long as possible. for some reason you like to stand on the left. don't.
  • make sure there are at least two steps between you and me. as much as you think i appreciate your face in my ass, how do you know i didn't have taco bell for lunch? beware.
  • talking on a cell phone and riding the escalator at the same time is not complicated for most people, but for you apparently it is so don't do it.
  • in the rare occassion you realize you are going in the wrong direction, do not stop, turnaround, and try to race the escalator down in the opposite direction.
  • as you approach the end of your trip, begin preparations for your final departure. don't pretend like the end is coming to you by surprise and stumble over the threshold of steel gnawing teeth and giggle.
  • as much as you've enjoyed your ride, do not stand at the end of the escalator to contemplate the meaning of your experience. unknown to you is the fact that everyone who you blocked by standing on the left side of the escalator is being thrown at you by the escalator which, by the way, doesn't stop just because you got off.
  • if the escalator is too complicated, try the elevator. you are probably the one who will try to squeeze into the elevator before anyone else steps off. don't do this.
  • when in doubt, take the stairs. you probably need the exercise anyway.

Category: C++ Quant > Random Walk

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