11.13.2005

TIP: Writing a cover letter that gets calls

via Craigslist -- Which of these two cover letters resembles yours most? More importantly, which one do you think will get the call?

Cover letter 1

James,

OK, I admit. I saw your posting just now for the Product Marketing Manager for Outdoor Adventures and Experiences just now on Craigs List, and I'm salivating. so I can't imagine a better adventure for a career than to market excitement and fun. Let me tell you 3 reasons you should consider me for this position :

  • Strong Design Skills You're ad said you were looking for someone who can design brochures and other marketing materials. I have 2 years of design, and am proficient in Adobe Illustrator and Pagemaker. I have created brochures for XYZ company, and ABC company, and have attached a PDF of my work. I'd be happy to show you my portfolio in an interview.
  • Good communication and writing skills - In my former job, I regularly led meetings that involved dozens of people. Several times a year, I would speak for my company at industry events... sometimes to audiences of several hundred people. I know how to craft a good press release and have successfully managed to get several articles into print.
  • I love experiences - I completely relate to your philosophy that life is about experiences. I love to travel, and have recently returned from 2 months in Peru where I helped feed orphan children in a small town. I've never been skydiving, but it is on my top ten list of things to do next year. Perhaps this is my opportunity.

ExperienceTHIS is a place where I know I can make a difference, and with my experience at conceiving plans and putting projects into motion, I'm sure I could impact you very quickly without spending too much time in the starting gate. I would love to meet with you in person to talk about how I can help take the adventure to a whole new level.

Cover letter 2

Dear Sir/Madam

Please accept this letter and resume for the Product Marketing Manager position as referenced on craigslist.com.

As a recent MBA graduate, I believe that I offer the skills that are crucial to this position. My background in public relations, as well as my formal education in business and marketing from the University of San Francisco will serve as a complement to your firm.

After doing some extensive research about experienceTHIS.us, I am sure that my work history and educational background will greatly benefit the future endeavors of your organization. (Did you really do extensive research on us??? - no evidence here, that's for sure) My work history coupled with my education in business administration has provided me with an invaluable sense of communication and negotiation, as well as quantitative analytical skills....

From both my professional and personal experiences, I have developed an enthusiastic, entrepreneurial, and disciplined work ethic. I possess the ability to work under pressure and rapidly adapt to changing work conditions. I excel in both individual and team driven environments. With this in mind, I am confident that my employment background, eagerness to learn, and genuine character will prove to be an asset to your company...

I look forward to discussing employment opportunities with you in the near future. I am available for an interview at your earliest convenience. Thank you in advance for your consideration.

...If you just regurgitate a form cover letter from some book you read, or the email you sent to the last company, I'm going to yawn and hit the delete key before I ever get to your resume. I feel bad doing it, but I just don't have time for blah blah blah.

Category: C++ Quant > Land the Job You Want

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous5:22 PM

    I agree with your general point, but the first letter is wrought with spelling errors, typos and grammatical errors that I would not consider that person for the job either. An enthusiastic letter that is specific to the job can be proof read and free of mistakes.

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