Random News Bits from Jay Leno

  • In Florida, a judge has found O.J. Simpson guilty of stealing satellite TV and ordered him to pay DirecTV $25,000 in back charges. We are finally getting tough on celebrities in this country.
    • Were you shocked? I knew he was a murderer, I didn't know he was a thief. I was stunned.
    • I just this one incidence doesn't ruin O.J.'s reputation.
  • Ricky Williams report the dolphins training camp nearly a year after he said he was retiring to smoke marijuana. That's when you know you smoke a lot of weed okay. When you just show up a year late for the job you just quit.
  • It's hot out! It's so hot out that I stopped at Ben and Jerry's for a scoop of ice cream and the guy at the counter asked if I wanted that in a cup, cone, or in my pants.
  • An owner of an Italian restaurant wants to sue Bill Clinton for not showing up. He says it's not fair that he prepared everything and waited until 2:00 AM for him not to show up. Hillary then said, "Tell me about it."

Category: C++ Quant > Random Walk

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